Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Men and Women
- Vive la Différence -
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
- President Dwight D. Eisenhower
Whichever side of the "Fence"
you're on, the other side might
seem Mysterios or just plain
Crazy		Funny 1 Even if you don't understand
the opposite sex. You can find
something Comical in the
Misunderstanding
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

Can You Dig It ?

You're so Hopeless !     Differences >
MEN

Q. What's the difference between government bonds and men?
A. Bonds Mature.

Q. What did God say after creating man?
A. I can do better than this

Q. What's the difference between an intelligent man and a UFO?
A. I don't know, I've never seen either one.

Q. What do you call a man with half a brain?
A. Gifted.

Q. Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra, you've got nothing to put in it?
A. Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?

Q. How do men sort their laundry?
A. "Filthy" and "Filthy but wearable."

Q. Why did God create man?
A. Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

Q. Why do men love computers?
A. No matter what mood they are in, they can still get a floppy in.

Q. How many men does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Four. One to actually change it, and 3 friends to brag about how he screwed it.

Q. How many men does it take to replace a roll of toilet paper?
A. No one knows....It's never happened.

Q. How can you tell soap operas are fictional?
A. In real life men aren't affectionate out of bed.

Q. How does a man show he is planning for the future?
A. He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

Q. What makes a man chase women he has no intention of marrying?
A. The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Q. How is being at a singles bar different than being at the circus?
A. At the circus the clowns don't talk.

Q. Why do bachelors like smart women?
A. Opposites attract.

Q. Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
A. They're hard to get started, emit foul odors and don't work half the time.

Q. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A. After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

Q. Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
A. Just when it gets interesting, they're finished until next time.

Q. How do men define a 50-50 relationship?
A. She cooks/he eats; she cleans/he messes; she irons/he wrinkles.

Q. What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups?
A. Put the remote control between his toes.

Q. How do men exercise at the beach?
A. By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

Q. What does a man consider to be a seven-course meal?
A. A hot dog and a six-pack.
Some Guys will say anything >
Only female mosquitoes bite.
WOMEN

She's so dumb that , , . . . .

...she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate"..

...she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind. .

...she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DONT WALK". .

...she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order. .

...she sat on the TV and watched the couch. .

...she sent me a fax with a stamp on it. .

...she tried to drown a fish. .

...she thought a quarterback was a refund. .

...she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death. .

...if you gave her a penny for intelligence, you'd get change back. .

...they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade. .

...under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics". .

...she tripped over a cordless phone. .

...she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. .

...at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here".. she put "Sagittarius". .

...she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store. .

...it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes. .

...if she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless. .

...she studied for a blood test ...and failed. .

...she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center. .

...she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats. .

...she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train. .

...she sold the car for gas money. .

...when she saw the "NC-17 ,under 17 not admitted" sign, she went home and got 16 friends. .

...when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved. .

...she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.

...when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead. .

...when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home. .


Gender Acomplishments >
More Women in Politics >
"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duhhh."
--Conan O'Brien
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